I need to write this down somewhere. i just had one of those moments where you come to a huge realization about your life that should have been obvious to begin with.
I was contemplating my life, past and present circumstances and it hit me hat a huge blessing elizabeth is. Not in the every parent's my kid is a miracle way, but in the way only God can work.
I was never fully happy in my marriage. I had the life i thought I wanted, a husband, a house, a job, and then a child. I did nothing to actively engage my relationship with Christ, Sundays were for sleeping in and the bible was too boring to read. Going out and drinking (until my pregnancy of course) was a great use of my time and my husband agreed.
Elizabeth was my wake up call. I knew I needed to get my life on track. I started attending church and made so many connections and amazing friends. I had to do it without Matt, and it was hard, very hard when she was only a few months old, but I knew I had to. It was my duty as a parent to give my child a Christian upbringing.
I ignored the abuse in my marriage. Emotional, verbal, physical and financial because I was married and every couple fights, right? It was not until the safety of my daughter came into question at Christmas I dared to leave against his will. It was not until I made her a promise to never have to leave in the middle of the night again last Mother's Day weekend that I took us out of that toxic environment.
Elizabeth re-opened the door to faith that I was brave enough to walk through. Eveything good in my life right now was inspired by her. I may not have a husband, a house, or a job using my degree, but I am happier now than I think I have been in a very, very long time.
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